Behind the Buzz

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Imagine walking into a party. You open the door to a lively atmosphere with voices speaking over one another and music muffling their words. You look around — everyone is holding a drink. Your stomach turns. A friend comes over and asks if you want one. You say you’re sober.

How does your friend respond? Are you met with sympathy? Awkward silence? Does your friend offer you an alcohol-free drink?

While there is a cultural conversation happening around sobriety, some of the common ways people respond to someone who isn’t drinking reveal that there are still lots of misconceptions about sobriety — and the reasons people choose not to drink alcohol.

One common myth is that people only choose sobriety if they have an addiction.

Jessie Halliburton, owner of Sobr Market, a non-alcoholic bottle shop in Winnipeg, says people often equate sobriety with addiction. She also says there are misconceptions about non-alcoholic beverages. One she’s heard is that drinking non-alcoholic beer is essentially the same as regular beer.

“I have had several people tell me that those who choose to consume non-alcoholic beer should take a day one chip,” Halliburton says.

Sobriety chips are linked to the well-known Alcoholics Anonymous program and are used to mark sobriety milestones for people in recovery. Halliburton told me that people who hold this view think that drinking a non-alcoholic beer would mean starting over at day one for someone in recovery. This shows how deeply assumptions about sobriety run.

Sober herself, Halliburton believes education is key to dissolving the stigma around those who choose a sober lifestyle — addicted or not. While there are still lots of myths about sobriety, more and more people are choosing to live without alcohol.

The 2023 Statistics Canada’s Canadian Community Health Survey found 67 per cent of 18 to 22-year-olds went the past week without a drink, compared to 54 per cent of Canadians overall. The survey also found 29 per cent of Gen Z and Millennials are reducing their alcohol intake, proving the sober curious movement is growing.

Murmurs of a sober scene are unfolding here in Winnipeg. Mocktail Week, presented by DrinkSense, took place from January 10 to 19, but out of approximately 1,100 restaurants in Winnipeg, only 14 participated, with another two in Brandon.

The most recent Statistics Canada report from 2022 on the volume of alcohol sales in Canada reveals sales declined 1.2 per cent — wine sales fell four per cent — the biggest decrease since tracking began back in 1949. Unfortunately, there are no hard facts explaining why people are choosing sobriety.

To muddy the water more, a report done in 2024 by NIQ, a marketing agency, shares that 75 per cent of non-alcoholic beverage purchasers in Canada also buy alcohol products, suggesting people are not seeing sobriety as black or white. So why are people buying non-alcoholic wine, beer, and other non-alcoholic beverages? We don’t know for sure, but maybe more people want to try out sobriety, experience a more balanced lifestyle, or ease the transition to drinking less or not at all.

The same report says that non-alcoholic beverage market sales were $199 million — a 24 per cent increase from the year prior; non-alcoholic spirit sales grew 67.7 per cent, and non-alcoholic beer led the category with 76 per cent.

As a Gen Z, I had to see what the sober movement was all about. So, I decided to stop drinking for three months and, even better, ask those living a sober lifestyle about their experiences.

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It started in grade seven. He would sneak to his buddy’s place and drink in between periods. They thought they were so cool.

Jeff “Broms” Bromley, 48, who has now been sober for six years, grew up in the North End and felt privileged because he had great parents who raised him to always try to be the voice of reason and a leader.

Broms, also known as Broms The Poet, is a creative who acts, raps, and writes. He worked for Shaw TV, hosting a music and art news program, Signal to Noise, which aired for almost ten years. He also wrote Feast, a book in which he discusses his struggles with addiction, complicated relationships, and feelings of never being enough.

Since he was young, Broms says he always felt an inner need to put himself in uncomfortable situations and try out everything he could. He didn’t want to have regrets.

“It’s almost like I was listening to older folks because with that came this sort of hair-down approach to things. Even in the rap group I was in, we were called The Filthy Animals. So, you can imagine what, lyrically, I was kind of going for at that time.”

Broms thinks if some of those lyrics circulated today, he would most likely be cancelled immediately. But to him, “it was kind of just about being a drunk superhero.”

Rap culture heavily promotes the party lifestyle, so Broms followed that recipe to a tee and drank pretty much all day, every day, even when alone.

On stage, Broms felt he had to show this “bravado“ side when his true self was the opposite.

Alcohol made it easier to put on this persona.

“I’ve always cared about a lot of things, and alcohol made it easy for me to not care as much, so I could do other things that I couldn’t do when I cared. So, in that respect, it freed me.”

As he got older, he realized there was no need to protect the idea that he was okay; instead, it was okay to admit he wasn’t. Broms had tried to quit drinking before, but this time he was dating someone who wouldn’t harp on him if he slipped up. She would ask, “What do you want to do?” and he would respond, “I want to quit,” something he had said many times before. But she continued to support him, telling him to get back up and keep going.

“And then I’d fail again, and she’d go to work or be somewhere else, and I’d be in some little bar at the end of the street getting drunk at one in the afternoon, writing whatever came to my mind. I was always creative.”

Broms doesn’t think he was ever a functional drunk — he doesn’t think that’s a thing. He was functional in the sense that he would still go to work and be around people. 

“I wasn’t an angry drunk; I was happy-go-lucky, a kind of foolish buffoon — but a lovable buffoon.”

In Broms’s mind, he wasn’t hurting anyone around him. He was only hurting himself and his relationships.

He still thinks about the time he cheated on a former partner.

“I would never have done that before [alcohol].”

Alcohol was a mask Broms put on to hide himself. To him, alcohol is too accessible; it’s everywhere. So, as the outgoing person he is, he just tried to experience the world’s offerings as much as he could. But, in the grand scheme of life, he still sees himself as a kid, scared to go into situations he’s not familiar with. So, he knocked a couple of shots back, and he was good to go.

“It was a slow burn, which addiction always is. It burns heavy and hard. So, there were a few times where I was tired of feeling like a bag of shit when I woke up, tired of regret, tired of questioning what happened.”

One day, Broms woke up to his front door wide open. It sunk in.

He would never leave the door unlocked, never mind wide open for anyone to walk in. Nothing terrible happened, but this simple act left a lingering feeling: this was not who he was. It was the catalyst for reflection. He saw through all the excuses he had been making for all the things that weren’t in his character.

Now, after six years sober, Broms has found a place where a few cups of coffee, some supplements, a good night’s sleep, and time with his cat are all he needs to live a functional life. He can go out and socialize without the mask of alcohol. It hasn’t been easy for Broms, but he says as you go, you fortify yourself, and every time you say no to a drink, it’s empowering.

Broms’s sobriety is uncertain at times. He’s not sure what the next day will hold. Recently, his friends asked him to go to Las Vegas.

“That’s a pilgrimage for alcoholics. That’s the Holy Land, right? So even if I had a drink — I’m not making excuses for myself — it would be a night I felt I needed a drink.”

After that, Broms feels he would revert to the feeling — long-term alcohol addiction is not functional and will not solve his problems.

Broms has chosen his friends wisely. They’re supportive and loving about his sobriety. They’ll do little things like pour him milk shots. “We’ll be at a club, and they’ll be like, ‘Get this guy some milk!’ It’s cool,” he said.

Taking pen to paper has always been, and continues to be, a form of therapy for Broms. Poetry is a large part of that.

“It’s not like the sun and the moon type of poetry. It’s more like the human condition and what we all experience — what we feel,” he said. “I feel like my history sort of gives me permission to speak from that place because I have felt a lot in my life, and I’ve encountered a lot.”

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As a professional soccer player in Slovenia, Josip Zorica, 23, chose to go sober two years ago.

“I came to God, and it was just another reason to stop drinking because Jesus tells you not to be drunk. You can drink alcohol but shouldn’t get drunk. So, I found no point in drinking if you weren’t getting drunk because I thought that was the only reason to drink,” he said.

It helps that Zorica doesn’t like the taste of alcohol. He says it’s been a comfortable road to sobriety. He surrounded himself with people who have similar beliefs and understand he is an athlete who wants to be as healthy as possible.

“It’s like a two-for-one deal; they understand why I don’t drink.”

Alcohol’s effects on athletes has been a popular topic of conversation in the media. The New York Times, CBC, The Guardian and many other news outlets have all weighed in.

According to the study “Alcohol, Athletic Performance and Recovery” in the journal Nutrients, drinking can affect your metabolism, neural functions, body temperature regulation, muscle strength, and hydration.

As a competitive athlete, Zorica takes his health quite seriously, and he’s found cutting alcohol out has made him feel healthier. 

Zorica hasn’t encountered peer pressure, but he says he doesn’t consider others’ opinions when it comes to his lifestyle choices.

“It’s pretty easy to say, but it truly is — I just don’t care.”

Being part of Gen Z could be one reason for his peers’ acceptance and understanding.

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Miranda Mirlycourtois, 33, a spray tan artist and single mother, has been sober for five years. Her sobriety is rooted in her past, with her parents and ex-partner, who all struggled with addiction.

“I don’t wanna get home at the end of the day and need something,” she said.

As a single mom, Mirlycourtois wants to be present for her 9-year-old daughter. It’s not that she wasn’t present before; she’s just a healed version of herself, and to her, that means being a better mom.

“I don’t want this for my daughter. I don’t want her growing up thinking that it’s normal [having parents who get home and have a drink] ’cause it was for me,” she said.

Mirlycourtois says it’s not normal to need an escape. Having problems is normal, but instead of facing them, she wanted to numb them away.

To her, there are a lot of levels to alcoholism; it can’t have one definition. It’s more than benders on the weekend or drinking daily. It’s about dependence on the substance.

“It’s what I believe. If I can’t go a night without a glass of wine and think about it all day, that’s just me being aware.”

Having a glass of wine each night was the norm for Mirlycourtois, but then it would turn into two glasses and then three. 

“It was definitely a moment when you’re able to call yourself on your bullshit,” she said, “I was sitting on my couch, and I just remember thinking, I don’t want this anymore.”

“I quit cold turkey.”

According to St. Johns Recovery Place, the safety of quitting abruptly depends on the length of time, how much, and how often you drink; disorders and physical health are also factors. Long-term heavy drinkers should be most concerned about life-threatening withdrawal symptoms: the body becomes accustomed to the amount of alcohol being consumed, making it difficult for the central nervous system to adjust.

Mirlycourtois surrounds herself with supportive people who help her stay sober. Though she’s older and doesn’t go out as much anymore, when she does, her friends plan ahead, ensuring mocktail options are available.

“It sucks going out and asking a waiter what your options are, and they only have a pop. You still want to have a little beverage that’s fun. It’s really about having something in your hand.”

However, Mirlycourtois says though a fun drink is nice, she doesn’t think it’s right that mimicking alcohol is more expensive. For example, Captain Morgan 100 Spiced Rum is $30.49 at Liquor Mart, while the alcohol-free version (Captain Morgan Spiced Gold 0.0 per cent) is $45 at Sobr Market.

“It’s almost taking advantage of those who are sober. That’s a bold statement, and I stand behind it. I’m sorry. I do get it; I have read it’s because of the herbs they’re using to mimic, but also, there’s no alcohol in it, and then you’re charging more, and that just feels predatory.”

For some, imitation alcohol can be triggering. When Mirlycourtois first tried it, she felt exceptionally guilty. This is not a feeling she anticipated because of how comfortable in her sobriety she had been.

“I know it wasn’t alcohol because I can read. But some of them are so real,” she said, “my face went red.”

In Manitoba, imitation alcohol can have up to 1.1 per cent alcohol in it. Is that enough to induce the typical side effects of alcohol? Or is it all psychological?

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I have seriously asked this question. My face gets cherry red when I drink alcohol, and my cheeks feel like they are on fire. Maybe it’s a placebo effect, but those two things also happen when I drink imitation alcohol.

During my first sober experience out with friends, where I was the only one not drinking, I decided to order a non-alcoholic cocktail. The restaurant we were at had two mocktail options, so I thought ordering would be pleasant and smooth. Wrong.

The Saskatoon Berry Sour sounded delicious. So, I tried to order the drink with ‘fake rum’ instead of the real stuff. The waitress explained she wasn’t sure if the non-alcoholic rum would properly bring out the drink’s flavour. I thought this was a weird response. Why can’t I request something be non-alcoholic with ease and without the risk of it tasting bad? In the end the waitress made me a non-alcoholic Saskatoon Berry Sour.

I assumed imitation rum would have the same taste as real rum, but it turns out alcohol-free rum often lacks the same depth of flavour that alcoholic rum provides in a beverage. Ultimately, I had nothing to compare the non-alcoholic drink to, so the Saskatoon Berry Sour tasted acceptable to me. But the whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth. Why can I easily order a stir fry without mushrooms or a burger without tomatoes, but not substitute non-alcoholic rum in a cocktail?

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Sobriety doesn’t need to carry such a stigma. The world is changing, and so should our understanding. Going sober meant that I, a Gen Z’er, could understand where Broms, Zorica, and Mirlycourtois are coming from and understand their world just a little bit better.

Yes, the night after I went out with my friends and didn’t drink alcohol, I was able to have a productive day and not feel like lying in bed all day, my stomach swirling in misery. Yes, I still had fun. Yes, it was hard to say no sometimes.

The Canadian Mental Health Association says that each year, one in five Canadians experience mental health issues or illness. By age 40, around 50 per cent of all Canadians will have or had a mental illness. Anxiety disorders affect 4.6 per cent of the population — I am a part of that number.

To me, anxiety is an all-too-familiar feeling. Going into social settings, I’m embarrassed to admit that I do rely on a few drinks to feel more comfortable. I often drink to calm my nerves. So, it was hard to go out into uncomfortable situations during this sober experiment — one time that stands out: an end-of-semester party. Luckily, I was close friends with the host, so I got there early to put my mind at ease. Still, my heart thumped in my chest, and I constantly looked for people I felt I could be myself around. It was weird, though, watching others, some of whom were hammered, interact with one another. As the night went on, it got easier because the only person watching my every move was me.

In the end, I got through the party. It really wasn’t all that bad. Was drinking to calm my nerves giving my power away?

For me, sobriety was about taking the power back and dealing with the ‘pre-social outing jitters’ instead of trying to suppress them.

From now on, I’m choosing to be mindful of my alcohol intake. I don’t need alcohol to have fun. I can walk into a party and say no without the fear of judgement because even if others are drinking, in the end, it’s my choice.