The Music That Moved (With) Me
Three provinces, five small towns, five cities — through all the changes, I’ve learned that music is the constant I need.
Listen to this story:
I’ve been asked countless times where I’m from. Before I reply, I debate if I should give the long or short answer.
If I decide to go with the short answer, I’ll say “My family has moved around a lot. Right now, I live in Winnipeg.”
But here’s what I don’t say: I was born in Dryden, Ontario, in 2001. Three years later, we moved to Kenora, ON, and seven months later moved to Balmertown, ON. Our biggest move was to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan in 2009. Right before high school, we moved from city life to small-town Esterhazy, SK. In 2019, I began my first year at Brandon University (BU). Then the COVID-19 pandemic forced me to move back to Esterhazy abruptly.
In 2022, we left Esterhazy without a solid destination, and by the fall, I was finally moving back onto the BU campus for my final year. I graduated and moved to a lovely house outside Winnipeg in Dufresne, MB. We lived there for one year as I began Creative Communications at Red River College Polytechnic.
My younger sister Morgan and I worked summer jobs at Tanco Lithium Mine in Lac du Bonnet, MB, where my dad worked. By the end of August 2024, Morgan and I moved to our current house in Winnipeg for school.
We moved around so much because my dad, an industrial engineer, works in mining.
While reflecting on all the changes I grew up with, I’ve noticed music has always been there for me. When I listen to a song I haven’t heard in a while, I remember exactly where I was when I first heard it. I’ve always linked specific music with specific locations and I’ve been curious about why these connections are so strong. According to a study done in the Journal of Behavioral and Brain Science, the brain understands music in a variety of ways to evoke music memories. Music memories have shaped who I am.
I first heard the song “Everything is Alright” by The Glorious Sons when I was on a road trip to Niagara Falls with my family. We drove through Mallorytown, so we stopped to take pictures with a sign. When I was posing, my dad had the radio on, and “Everything is Alright” was playing.
My dad’s a big influence on my music taste. He raised my sister and me on classic rock (or as he calls it, “the current rock of my time”), making sure we had diverse taste.
“I wanted you guys to experience some of the music I enjoyed listening to as I grew up and wanted you guys to relate to things I relate to,” my dad said. “Those tunes bring back good memories.”
I grew up listening to what is jokingly called “divorced dad rock”: The Tragically Hip, Foo Fighters, Guns N’ Roses, Green Day, Nickelback, and my dad’s favourite band, Metallica. I listen to these bands on the truck ride home from school on a Friday afternoon, anticipating late nights and slow mornings. I listen to these musicians while playing board games on Saturday nights, stomping my feet on the floor to the beat and playing “Name That Tune” with my family, distracting us from our game. I blare these songs at our family cabin in Minaki, ON, on the hottest day in July, drink in hand, soaking in the sun. I listen on shuffle by myself, waiting for my bus to arrive in the chilly mornings, watching the sunrise.
I associate musicians, songs, albums, and playlists with each town, city, province, and house I’ve lived in.
After a merge of two gold mines in Balmertown, Ontario, my dad decided to look for a new job. He is ambitious and wanted better opportunities. This took my dad from gold to potash mining and brought our family from northwestern Ontario to Saskatoon in January 2009. This happened to be right in the middle of the school year: grade two for me and kindergarten for Morgan.
Saskatoon was blaring pop music driving downtown, listening to rock half asleep on car rides, radio stations C95 and ROCK 102, and going to concerts.
I met one of my best friends, Chelsea Parfitt, at St. Peter Elementary School. We were inseparable and frequently hung out at each other’s houses. We’d share headphones on the school bus and listen to dubstep music. The energetic nature of the dance beats helped us unwind from the day and wake up in the mornings.
Saskatoon is where I first started listening to Taylor Swift. My mom dropped me and my sister off at school one morning, and “Love Story” was playing on the radio. I heard the bridge, when Taylor describes a proposal, and said “ewww that’s gross!” I was eight years old, and the idea of romance was disgusting. Since then, I’ve matured and realized romance isn’t icky, and Taylor has been my favourite musician ever since.
Morgan played ringette, and I became a “rink sister,” meaning I’d tag along to games, eat rink food, and cheer her on. In 2013, I was sitting at a rink with my cheap wired headphones blaring Midnight Memories by One Direction, holding a hot chocolate. The rink smelled like sweat, cold, and greasy food; the drink tasted and smelled chocolate-y, watered down, and burnt. Listening to the rock-influenced pop album is a throwback to rink life; to leaving games on dark winter weeknights and listening to “Story of My Life” on the radio.
My parents sat Morgan and I down in our living room for what we knew as “the moving talk.” My dad said he wasn’t loving his job anymore. It was spring 2015; I was in grade eight and had a parent-student event that night. My parents couldn’t attend, because they would be visiting this town I’d never heard of called “Esterhazy.” I started sobbing, and my dad asked, “Why are you crying? Because we won’t be home tonight, or because we might be moving?” Once the tears dried, my dad showed us a map: Esterhazy, SK, is five hours southeast of Saskatoon.
“It was high impact and nerve wracking for the family, moving from a city to a small town,” my dad said, reflecting.
I still keep in touch with friends I’ve left to this day, just not as much as when we first moved. Nothing compares to seeing them every day at school and hanging out every weekend.
“It was really sad. I was sad you were leaving, especially because we were going into high school,” said Chelsea, “I drive past your house often.”
Moving to Esterhazy was hard, but looking back it was one of the best decisions we made as a family. We all made life-long friends and lived in a beautiful home. It’s always sad to leave our little communities, but all moving does is expand them.
Esterhazy was high school, water speakers, new friends, One Direction, and COVID-19.
Moving to Esterhazy was a big adjustment for the whole family. We had become accustomed to city life, so becoming small town people again took time. I was starting grade nine and Morgan was starting grade seven. One day, two girls knocked on our door, asking Morgan if she wanted to join their hockey team. Ringette was unavailable in or around Esterhazy, which was a difficult change for the family, especially Morgan.
She joined a co-ed hockey team in town. I met another rink sister: Brittany Dancsok. We’d sit on my bedroom floor blasting One Direction, Hedley, and Taylor Swift through my water speakers. This music strengthened our friendship, giving us more to talk about.
According to a study in the Contemporary Music Review, “Sharing music […] can potentially regulate feelings through empathic exchange.” The music we listened to helped solidify our friendship and communicate what we couldn’t express in words. If I’m sad about something, I know I can send Brittany a song and she’ll know exactly what to say to comfort me.
Brittany and I were inseparable, and when it came time to apply to post-secondary, it should come as no surprise we both applied to Brandon University. Now this was a move I was excited (and to be honest, a little nervous) for!
Brandon was university, newfound independence, road trips home, parties, and late-night study sessions.
In September 2019, I moved into my first dorm. I had a super-single in Flora Cowan, the all-girls residence. I felt significantly better about this big change knowing I had Brittany with me. We went home every weekend, singing at the top of our lungs to the songs that brought us together when we first met.
Shortly after I moved in, Morgan convinced me to join TikTok. At the time, the app was mostly dancing videos, but it largely influenced the music I listened to. Songs including “Maniac” by Conan Gray, “Cannibal” by Kesha and musicals Six and Newsies soundtracked my first year of university.
I was tossing and turning, trying to sleep on a school night when something in my gut told me to check my phone. It was 11:30pm, and Brittany had been trying to wake me up:
GIRL WAKE UP!
NEW HARRY!
LIGHTS UP! OUT NOW!
MUSIC VIDEO!
I tried to process what was going on as I watched the new Harry Styles music video. I was still half asleep, but this is one of my favourite music memories from my first year at BU.
Esterhazy 2.0: 2020-2022
On March 13th, 2020, I received an email as Brittany dropped me off at home:
Classes are suspended for one week. This will serve as an extra reading break…
We were both shocked, and I was relieved I had brought my laptop home. A week later, I moved out of my dorm, which was sad. I was disappointed I didn’t get to finish out my first year at BU on campus.
On July 23rd, 2020, I woke up to music news I wasn’t expecting: Taylor Swift was surprise dropping her eighth album, folklore. This album was woodsy and perfectly timed for quarantine escapism. It’d be out at midnight — I was SHOCKED.
On December 11th, 2020, I was sleeping peacefully when I was once again woken up to an incessant buzzing sound, which could only be texts from Brittany:
GIRL WAKE UP
NEW TAYLOR!
EVERMORE
OUT TONIGHT!
I tried to process what’s going on: folklore all over again? What’s evermore? What is going on? evermore has the same woodsy sound, storytelling, and atmosphere as folklore. Both albums offered escapism when I needed it most.
Where Do We Go Now? 2022
Opportunities at my dad’s work had come to an end, and it was time to look for a new job. He’d applied for jobs at mines all over North America: Nevada, Alaska, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and Ontario. We sold our house quickly, putting pressure on us to figure out our plan. The night we moved, my dad declared: “We’re going to Winnipeg!” I was surprised and excited about this news. I grew up visiting Winnipeg frequently; it’s where my mom’s side of the family lives. We commonly spent Christmas at cousins’ houses, weekends and school breaks at my grandparents’ house, and stopped overnight on longer road trips.
When we left Esterhazy, my dad had a work-from-home consulting job, which allowed for flexibility. We stayed at family friend’s houses, my grandparents’ home, and our family cabin while house hunting. My dad wanted to live outside Winnipeg, because he wanted easy access to quad and snowmobile trails. Quadding and snowmobiling were family hobbies in Esterhazy, as there were beautiful trails and valleys we frequented whenever we could.
“My favorite place I’ve ever lived is home. When I say home, I mean where my family can grow, whether it means we go from place to place or let ourselves settle,” said Morgan.
Although we didn’t have a place to officially call home, we felt at home in music, when we played games, and when we were together at our cabin.
“I loved living in a small town where everyone knew us and knew where we lived. I didn’t realize how much I liked that until we left,” said my mom.
On May 22nd, 2022, Harry Styles released his third album, Harry’s House. It was compelling: The album’s overarching theme was about home, while I didn’t know where mine was. I remember listening to Harry’s House for the first time at our cabin. Harry saying “it’s love that turns wherever you live into a home” was all the reassurance I needed.
“Looking back, it was nuts, but I know what made it fine was that we were with each other. Home is where your family is,” my mom said.
This era taught me home isn’t just a physical building. Home is where I’m with the people I love; where I hear my favourite song in public and gasp. Home is seeing a close friend I haven’t seen in a while. Home is a warm bed after a long day. Home is where I hear an old song I haven’t heard in years and still know the words.
In September 2022, it was finally time for me to return to BU for my final year. I was so excited, because I missed university life.
One night in Brittany’s dorm, she introduced me to the British alt-pop/rock band The 1975. They pair synth beats with lyrics about politics, romance, and love going wrong. Their music is perfect for driving downtown in a big city after dark. I learned the hard way their music is perfect for when you’re trying to finish a tricky essay with your best friend at your table, and you just can’t seem to focus for some reason…
On October 21st, Taylor Swift released her 10th album, Midnights. I had no idea, but Midnights would become my favourite album. It takes me back to this exact year and location every time I hit play. The synthy beats paired with lyrics about sleepless nights took me through late winter evenings writing essays as I finished my Bachelor of Arts degree. Once again, Brittany and I were bonding through music, enjoying our time living minutes from each other.
My social life was thriving: I was spending time with Brittany almost every day, meeting great classmates, and hanging out with my friend Aimee nearly every day. Aimee and I both majored in Gender & Women’s Studies, so we had classes together. We’d often go out to Houston’s, a nightclub, to dance out our school stress. Aimee once joked “there comes a time in the night when you scream, ‘Oh my God I love this song!’ to every song, and I don’t believe you.”
While I was excited about moving to Dufresne, it was bittersweet leaving Brandon. We tend to visit places we leave, but I have yet to visit Brandon. I don’t drive, and it’s just not a city we regularly plan to visit.
Dufresne was commuting to Winnipeg, early mornings and long days at school, Noah Kahan, and Zach Bryan.
Come September, I started a new chapter: RRC Polytech for CreComm. My first semester was a whirlwind. I spent long days downtown Winnipeg, hours on the city bus, made wonderful friends, and learned the ins and outs of how to communicate professionally.
Morgan attended the University of Winnipeg downtown, so she’d drive us; we listened to a lot of Noah Kahan. She introduced me to Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever) and we both became hooked, as we connected with the themes of moving, mental health, and feeling stuck.
“I fell in love quickly with Noah Kahan, as his music reflects the feeling of finally getting out of the small town you’ve been trapped in for so long. Being stuck sometimes doesn’t mean physically in place, it could be mentally,” said Morgan. “I think that’s what music helps with, it allows us the capacity to escape mental barriers.”
On April 19th, 2024, Taylor Swift released her 11th album, THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. After my first listen, I got a text from Morgan:
Morgan: There’s still a countdown on her website…
Me: Hmmm…. It’s probably just merch or something?
When the countdown hit zero and I refreshed Instagram, I gasped. Taylor announced the second part of the album, called THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: THE ANTHOLOGY. The best part? we didn’t have to wait for it: it was out NOW. Morgan ran to my room as soon as she heard my gasp, and we excitedly looked at the track list.
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT soundtracked our drives to Winnipeg, and eventual move from Dufresne to Lac du Bonnet, MB, where my dad worked at Tanco Lithium Mine. Morgan and I got summer student jobs, so we all worked together. Originally, we’d stay in Lac du Bonnet from Sunday to Thursday and come home to Dufresne for the weekends. But in July, we made the decision to sell the house and move to Lac du Bonnet. It was sad leaving our home, big yard, and awesome 40×40’ shop, but we didn’t have any community keeping us in Dufresne, so it was time to go.
Lac du Bonnet was THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, work, country music, and summer.
Morgan and I started at Tanco in mid-May, adjusting to early mornings and long workdays. Our drives to work were soundtracked by Noah Kahan, Zach Bryan, Luke Combs, and Taylor Swift.
Morgan and I lived in a small company-provided apartment, and my parents eventually rented a farmhouse in town. The house hunt seemed like it went on forever. Eventually, my parents found a beautiful house and moved in at the beginning of October. Meanwhile, we were also looking for somewhere for me and Morgan to stay in Winnipeg for the fall when school resumed.
I wasn’t very sad about leaving Lac du Bonnet because I knew my parents would still be living in town, so I’d be back in a matter of time. I was so excited about living in Winnipeg, school starting soon, independence, and city life.
We moved to our new home in Winnipeg on one of the hottest weekends at the end of August, and we didn’t have air conditioning.
We settled in, with me taking the only bedroom upstairs. I quickly learned what it means when people say heat rises: my room was HOT.
The beginning of our time at this house was soundtracked by the pop innuendo-filled situationship album Short n’ Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter. I’ll always associate Short n’ Sweet with those final days of summer 2024, lying awake at night listening to city noise, trying to fall asleep.
At the same time, I was playing the iconic summer dance-pop album BRAT by Charli xcx. BRAT was a big part of the start of my final year of CreComm, patiently waiting for my bus to take me home.
Morgan and I spent our evenings binge-watching One Tree Hill. The show featured a fantastic soundtrack, including The Fray, Gavin DeGraw, Tyler Hilton, The Wreckers, and Fall Out Boy. It quickly became my favourite show. These tunes were my getting-ready-for-bed soundtrack, as the songs are mostly mellow, perfect for winding down.
I know I’ll move again. I know I won’t live in my current house forever. But what I will have forever is music. There are so many ways to listen to these songs: radio, vinyl, in my sister’s car, the speakers on the dock, my headphones on the bus, getting ready, dancing with friends. These songs allow me to travel back in time, no new technology necessary. I press play and I’m back in our family room watching music videos in Saskatoon; my bedroom in the basement in Esterhazy; my sunny dorm in Brandon; listening to rock music in our shop in Dufresne. Here’s to future moves, and the music that’ll soundtrack them.
